Hongkie Town

Some of you will be surprised to know that my girlfriend reads this blog. It's simple. I told her about it, because I wanted her to hear it from me and not from someone else. I wanted to post the story of how she and I met, but I hesitated at first. Then I told her I thought I should do it, and that I'd let her read it before I make it public. She said I should just go ahead and post it and that she was wondering why I hadn't done it sooner. It's almost a "meet cute" story - at least that's how it seems to us - though probably some of you will read this and think it's a "Spike is stupid" story but I think at least some of the people who read this blog would enjoy it.

I'll preface this by saying that about two days before I met this person, I'd told my mother I'd decided to give up on dating. I just wasn't meeting anyone whom I felt strongly enough about to put in the effort to maintain a relationship. There were so many problems with so many of the women I'd dated that I figured it would be easier to stop searching and just "let it be."

It was just over three weeks ago, the same night I had dinner with a friend at Nadaman. After dinner, I ended up in Wanchai, as I often do. We'd had a lot of sake at dinner and I'd had a couple more drinks at Amazonia, so I was relatively high. I was also feeling restless, so got out of the bar and started walking around.

I passed Spicy Fingers and saw a friend of mine sitting at a table outside with a group of people I didn't know. He invited me to join the group. Everyone was sitting on those high stools around a table. Me, semi-wasted, took the only available seat, which was a low chair. I just kind of sat there, gathering my thoughts. But it didn't take long for me to notice that one member of the group was this really pretty woman, thin, great smile, long hair, Asian but speaking with a slight British accent, and she was commanding the attention of everyone else at the table. Like I said, she looked great, but she was also funny and confident.

I took a look at her, listened to her, and thought to myself, "That's the kind of woman I should be dating, how come I can never meet someone like that?" Yes, I was "meeting" her, but I was also convinced that there was no way she could be single. And when one of the other guys at the table ran off to get some food, he brought some back for her as well and I thought, "okay, that must be her boyfriend."

At one point, she did say something about how hard it was to find "Mr. Right," and even though I had enough presence of mind to finally speak up, saying, "I could be Mr. Right," in my befuddled state it never dawned on me that a woman saying she was looking for Mr. Right actually wasn't with any of the other guys there. However, for some reason, my saying that caught her attention.

Later on, a couple of the guys at the table were handing her their business cards so I joined in, giving one of my own. Soon after that, she left. She was parked in the garage across from the bar, came down in her car, waved good night to everyone and drove off. Alone.

I should mention that I later found out that two of the guys at our table asked her out and that a guy at the next table went up to her and told her she was the hottest woman in the bar and started kissing her hand. In retrospect, had I been more awake and tried hitting on her that night, I'm sure I would have failed. The "gradual" approach that I accidentally took is what worked.

So anyway, she left and after I finished smacking myself in the head several times, I decided I was going home too. Still a little drunk, very tired and I knew I wasn't likely to meet anyone else like her that night.

Back home, I received an SMS from her saying that she'd gotten home safely. I assumed that she'd sent this SMS to everyone at the table (I later found out I was right). But I thought, here's my opportunity, so I sent a reply. (She later told me I was the only one who replied.)

The next morning, she sent me a "good morning" SMS so I jumped into action, mind and fingers working frantically, trying to be witty and interesting and keep the replies coming. On Sunday, we moved from SMS to MSN. And I finally started to feel confident enough to ask her out for dinner, and she accepted.

One problem, though, was that I figured that since I hadn't spoken much at the bar, she probably couldn't remember what I looked like. And also I was convinced that she was under 35 years old and might not be interested in me once she found out my age. The only question she asked me was how tall I was. So going into this date, I pretty much expected that it would last about half an hour, and that soon I'd be joining some friends in a bar. I even told someone to wait for my call, that I'd join him at a bar later.

So we went out on that first date on Tuesday night, four days after we'd first met. Yes, she didn't remember what I looked like at all. Yes, it turns out her age is not that far off from mine (but she still looks just 35 to me). That first date lasted about 5 hours. We sat in the bar talking for four of those hours and then just walked around talking for another hour before I drove her home.

That night, I think I knew within 15 minutes, 30 minutes tops, how I felt about her. That she was the kind of person I was looking for, someone I could really be serious about. I think it took her a little bit longer than that, but maybe not that much.

Since that first night out, we've been together almost every night. We can talk all night long, night after night, with time going by too fast and without getting bored. I enjoy being with her and it doesn't matter what we're doing, I'm just happy when she's next to me. I hesitate to use the phrase "soul mate' but I can be completely honest and open with her and trust her completely. We like a lot of the same things have have similar priorities and ideas about the rest of our lives.

After about a week, I felt more certain than ever. I've even taken the step of changing my mobile phone number. I want a complete break from that aspect of my past.

The only painful bit is that in a few days she's going back home to visit her parents for two weeks. I scheduled my medical trip to Thailand at the same time. And, yes, the purpose of this trip is to deal with doctors and dentists, finish off a tattoo I started back in August, and then find some quiet place with no distractions where I can just settle in for a few days and chill out with a stack of books and my iPod.

At any rate, tonight I'm going to a New Yar's Eve party with someone I love, someone who loves me, and, oh yes, I'm also going to know that regardless of who else may be at the party, I will be there with the hottest girl in the room.


So .... happy new year!