Hongkie Town

... which has been my phrase of the day, but not in a mood to reveal context.

Found out that in order to see Speed Racer, I'd need to extend my visit by a day, which I'm not in the mood to do. Will have to see it when it hits theaters, which is just ten days away (not sure if day and date in HK though). I might spend part of tomorrow going to see U2 3D, which is playing on an Imax screen here, just a matter of if I feel like dealing with getting from Makati to Mall of Asia and back again, no inconsiderable feat when thinking about Manila traffic.

Lunch today was a return to the Serendra Mall at Fort Bonifacio, back to a restaurant called Abe (ah-bey), dedicated to a famous Filipino writer and featuring some classic Filipino dishes, including my current fave, crispy tadyang. Apparently there was some local female celeb eating there when we were there. I only got to see her from the rear (enticing) and as she left, the entire restaurant staff ran outside to have their picture taken with her.

Real estate tip: I'm told that a lot of Americans bought condos at Serendra when it first went on sale. And that now that the recession is taking hold of the US, many of those Americans are seeking to sell off their condos - and are taking losses of 30% or greater on the deal. It's almost tempting.

And tonight, snagged passes to a special opening day screening for Iron Man - I guess friends of the distributor, radio contest winners, etc. Best I can say for the movie is that the weirdness comes from Jon Favreau directing Robert Downey Jr as if it was a CGI remake of Swingers. Downey is the one thing that lifts the movie from your basic comic book feature film. And it's quite weird to see Jeff Bridges with a shaved head and big gray beard. A large portion of the film takes place in Afganistan, so it's telling that at one point you can see the poster for Rambo: First Blood. And, as expected, the end theme music is Black Sabbath's Iron Man. Well, good to see it on a huge screen in a THX certified theater.

If you do go see the film (and I suppose that many will), do sit through the extremely long end credits, because there is a two minute sequence after the credits to set up the next film in the franchise.

It's definitely summer - trailers screened before the film included Speed Racer, Indiana Jones 4, Mamma Mia, Incredible Hulk, Kung Fu Panda, Narnia 2, that Angelina Jolie hit-woman thing and some nonsense about a huge crocodile nomming a bunch of unlucky people in boats.

(Gotta say Kung Fu Panda didn't look half bad. Voices by Jack Black, Jackie Chan, Dustin Hoffman, Ian McShane. There's an Imax version coming of this. But did they really have to use the Kill Bill music (at least in the trailer))?

So here I am in Manila. As I waited to board the plane, I saw the long lines and crossed my fingers that I'd get an upgrade. I handed my ticket to the lady at the gate and asked, "Upgrade? Upgrade?" She didn't even look at me, let alone respond, but sure enough, as she put the ticket into the machine, it flashed red, spit the ticket back out and she handed me my business class boarding pass.

For my first night, after going to the Landmark Supermarket to stock up on Reeses Peanut Butter cups, I went to an old reliable spot, Cafe Havana. I like their take on spareribs. As I sat outside eating, a number of girls sitting at other tables tried to catch my eye. But I realized that I'm not in a mood to pay someone to pretend to like me. (Okay, I thought about what I just posted and am imagining the comments people will leave based on that. No need. Go back to where I posted the lyrics to Marquee Moon and think about it a bit.)

After dinner, walked over to check out the Manila branch of Spicy Fingers but the place was almost a ghost town. So walked back to the hotel. Along the way, at least six girls hit me with the "where you going?" line - one, after I rejected her, called after me, "I'm not a ladyboy!" "I know, but I'm still not interested!"

So up to the room, put on a movie, Street Kings - Keanu Reeves, Forest Whitaker, Hugh Laurie. James Ellroy gets the story credit and a co-writer's credit and it's directed by the guy who wrote Training Day. It got a 33% rating on Rotten Tomatoes and I think that was generous. Yeah, there's some intense action scenes but it is such a jumble of cliche upon cliche, very little that you haven't seen or heard before - you figure out the "gotcha" at least halfway through if not sooner and it's hard to keep a straight face at some of the bits in there.

Then it occurred to me, I wonder if Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanomo Bay is playing here yet? Guess I'll have to check the newspapers tomorrow. Unless there's a screening of Iron Man or Speed Racer that I could worm my way into.

Yeah, 3rd post tonight, but can't resist sharing another one from the letters page in the SCMP.

A Mr. Richard Feder from Fort Lee New Jersey Mr. James Tam from Mid Levels writes:

One simple fact has been overlooked, there are still debates and organised unrest in Tibet because of the relative success in preserving the Tibetan identity.

Exsqueeze me?

Oh, it gets better.

Had a solution - similar to that applied to native Americans in the US - been applied to Tibet whenever the Mongols or Han Chinese were in a position to do so, Tibetan unrest would now be no more exciting than a drunken commotion on a native American reservation.

Yeah, I know, at least he didn't call them "Injuns." Thank Buddha for small miracles. And thank China for not killing all of the Tibetans so that they can stage protests so the Chinese can kill them?

Actually, when you think about it, what China is doing there is pretty much exactly what the U.S. did in the 19th Century .... shipping in non-Tibetans by the bus and train load, giving them the best land, giving them the best jobs, not allowing the people who live there to have any say in how they're governed. Bury my heart at Lhasa?

Or is the Chinese government going to allow native Tibetans to open casinos?

Indian unemployment rates of 30 percent and more are dropping to almost nothing with the emergence of Indian casinos.

Since the enactment of the IGRA, revenues from Indian gaming operations have grown exponentially. Nationwide, total revenues from Indian gaming are projected to top the $6 billion mark, with total profits exceeding $1 billion, in 1995

To continue with positive aspects, tribes use their profits for the betterment of the reservation and its people. They are building schools/colleges (there are currently 26 tribal colleges nationwide) and community centers, setting up education trust funds/scholarships, investing in alcohol and drug treatment programs, financing new business enterprises (entrepreneurships), and putting in water and sewer systems on the reservations.

Not saying that allowing Native Americans to operate casinos in the past 20 years absolves the U.S. from centuries of wrong doing but still, "drunken commotion on a native American reservation" my ass.

Billboard reports on Coachella.

Day 1:

reunited U.K. rock outfit the Verve commanded the main stage with such '90s favorites as "Sonnet," "Space and Time" and "Life's an Ocean." .... Also starring on day one were the Raconteurs, playing classic rock-inspired tracks from their most recent album, "Consolers of the Lonely"; beloved indie rock acts the National and Vampire Weekend, who drew huge crowds to the Outdoor Theatre; the recently reactivated Breeders, who delighted the Main Stage crowd with their '90s hit "Cannonball"; and Goldfrapp, whose slinky electro-pop was an early evening highlight in the Mojave Tent. .... Bearded Les Savy Fav frontman Tim Harrington, who is known for his wild stage antics, entertained a bouncing crowd by dangerously climbing rafters, removing most of his clothing, moonwalking on speakers and planting a kiss on an unsuspecting male spectator who was watching from the side of the stage.

Day 2:

Playing well past midnight, Prince closed day two of Coachella with hits "1999," "Little Red Corvette," "Let's Go Crazy" and "Purple Rain," among others. After collaborations with Morris Day ("Jungle Love") and Sheila E ("Glamorous Life"), Prince performed a handful of originals before venturing into covers of Radiohead's "Creep" and the Beatles' "Come Together." ... Portishead didn't fail to set the mood its with eerie trip-hop. The reunited Britain act used Coachella as the launch pad for "Third," its first studio album in more than a decade. .... Before closing its set with "Are You Ready for the Floor," from its newest album "Made In the Dark," Hot Chip delivered a danced-up version of New Order's "Temptation." ... Other noteworthy performances on day two came from German electronic act Kraftwerk, which turned out "Autobahn" and "Computer Love" on the main stage; bass-heavy Brazilian electro rock act Bonde do Role, who brought the party to the Gobi tent with the catchy "Marina Gasolina"; indie rock act MGMT, playing spacey material from its debut album "Oracular Spectacular"; and U.K. producer-of-the-moment Mark Ronson, who recruited a number of artists (including Kaiser Chiefs vocalist Ricky Wilson) to help round out his set at the Outdoor Theatre.

In other news, Kenny G will be appearing in Hong Kong soon.

From the NY Times:

Thousands of young Chinese assembled to defend their country’s troubled Olympic torch relay pushed through police lines on Sunday, some of them hurling rocks, bottled water and plastic and steel pipes at protesters demanding better treatment for North Korean refugees in China.

When lone protesters demanded that China stop repatriating North Korean refugees, they were quickly surrounded by jeering Chinese. Near the park, Chinese students surrounded and beat a small group of protesters, news reports said.

In another scuffle, at the city center where the five-hour torch run ended, Chinese surrounded several Tibetans and South Korean supporters who unfurled pro-Tibet banners, and kicked and punched them, witnesses said.

The largest scuffle erupted shortly after the first torch-bearer left the Olympic Park, surrounded by dozens of police officers on foot or on bicycles and hundreds more in buses and trailed by a water cannon, ambulances and helicopters circling overhead.

Many of the Chinese gathered at the park surged toward about 150 protesters, mostly elderly South Koreans and North Korean defectors, who were shouting “No human rights, no Olympics” from across a boulevard.

If I was in the US, then this is what I would have been doing this weekend:



Somehow the available choices here just pale by comparison.

The SCMP today has a screaming headline, "Fury grows after police cleared in killing of black." "In killing" wouldn't have been enough, "black man" apparently would have been too much, what about just "man"?

Sleepy today. Back hurts. Manila tomorrow.

A possible new TV show? Just a thought.

In today's episode (all pictures taken within the past week):

Denise Richards is 37 years old, has had two kids and is supposedly batshit crazy.



Vs. Heather Locklear, 46 years old, one kid, slept with Richie Sambora who slept with Cher who slept with Gregg Allman (not to mention Sonny Bono).


And the winner? Stay tuned.

(photos stolen from The Superficial)

So thrilled. Left the office today, not going back to office for ten days, left the book I was reading in the office. 250 pages in, 50 pages to go. Guess I am going into the office on Saturday.

The book in question is Private Dancer by Stephen Leather. You know, you go to any English language bookshop in Thailand and it's filled with sexpat novels. I get the feeling that most of them are written by expat lawyers or bankers who come to Thailand, think they've discovered sex and want to share their discoveries with the rest of the world. John Burdett's series isn't bad. And I figured I'd give this one a try because Leather is ostensibly a "real writer," having a dozen or so novels out and written for British television (plus he was a former staffer at the SCMP).

It turns out his UK publisher refused to publish Private Dancer, supposedly because it was so different from his other books. So for years he had it as a free download from his web site until he self-published it in Thailand, where it is a perennial best seller. (The cover photo was taken at Angelwitch in Nana, he mentions in an interview sitting in front of Nana Plaza for hours until he found the girl with just the look he wanted.)

The story is about a Brit travel book writer, hired by a Lonely Planet or Rough Guide type of publisher, who comes to Bangkok and immediately falls in love with a bar girl. You're told in the very first chapter that he kills her. The next 300 pages flash back to tell the tale, in short sections in first person by the various participants and friends.

At first I didn't much care for the book because Leather is more of a storyteller than a writer. Had I never been to the places he writes about, I'd have little idea of what they look like inside. But by alternating first person, between westerners and Thais, it builds into a pretty powerful read for anyone who has any experience in this particular area. The Thai girl plays the game, getting as much money from the guy as she can, telling him she loves him and he's the only one, and then going home the next day, giving the money to her Thai boyfriend, who spends it on drugs and girls. It's judgmental and not judgmental at the same time, people doing what they do because of cultural expectations and, in the case of the Brit protagonist, downright stupidity.

Early on, one of the characters notes that long term relationships between a westerner and a bar girl are doomed to failure because, roughly, every time he looks at her he'll remember that when he met her, she was a hooker. And every time she looks at him she'll remember that he was out looking for hookers. Common sense, no?

The book is based on Leather's personal experiences plus those of his friends and it has a ring of truth to it.

But one unrelated question .... if there are hundreds of these Thai sexpat books, how come I've never run across any similar tales from the Philippines? Which I just thought about because I'm heading to Manila on Monday. Couple of days work, couple of days to relax. I plan to spend more time at Handlebar, the roadhouse style place I discovered last visit. And the Sticky/Spicy Fingers folks have opened a branch at Greenbelt 2, so I'll be checking that out. I'm not feeling at all inclined to visit the go go bars but also don't feel like sitting in my hotel room every night. Think I might go down by the mall by Bonifacio, one restaurant there does a beef version of crispy pata that's really nice ....

Right now there are a bunch of people downstairs staging a protest because CNN's Jack Cafferty said the government of China are a bunch of "thugs and goons." Actually I thought that was only inaccurate in terms of the restraint he showed; I could think of worse things to say.

I wonder if these same people protested when the Chinese government imprisoned and tortured people like Hu Jia merely for writing a few online articles and giving a couple of interviews?

Does anyone care about what people who believe that Tibet "always was and always will be a part of China" have to say? Apparently so, because there are more reporters covering the event than actual participants.

I went looking for cameras on Saturday.

First I played with the new, highly rate Canon Digital Rebel Xsi, in Hong Kong called the 450D (and in Japan it's called, I believe, the Digital KissX2). I was extremely unimpressed. Gizmodo recently did a big comparison with four entry level DSLRs, and while this Canon came in first, of the Live View function they said, "Live View is limited, or you might even say crippled." It was absolutely useless, except perhaps for tripod mounted still life shots, not the sort of thing I often do. And overall, the menus and operation seemed complex and fussy. I did not think it would represent any step up over what I previously had.

On the other hand, the Sony A350 was a joy. The A300 came in second in the Gizmodo shoout out and they wrote that it "might be the best value of all right now." The NY Times also expressed a preference for the 10 megapixel A300 over the 14 megapixel A350, but I have yet to see the A300 in shops either in Tokyo or here. I know some of you may have seen an anti-Sony camera rant from a comment in an earlier post, but I don't believe that came from a very informed person. The Sony DSLRs are built on the Minolta Maxxum (and I used to have a Maxxum SLR and loved it greatly). While David Pogue, writing in the NY Times, expressed reservations about the A300's low light performance, he otherwise had this to say:

The button layout and software design are a delight, too. Little things like a satisfying, clicky Off-On switch, dedicated self-timer and ISO (light-sensitivity) buttons, and scene-mode dial (presets for Portrait, Close-up, Sports and so on) let you operate this thing with a minimum of hunting through the sullen little manual. For an S.L.R., it’s quite small, and it feels terrific in your hand.

The big question, of course, is, how do the photos look?

In good light, they look sensational.

... the A300 is a home run for its intended audience: first-time S.L.R. owners. It’s more camera for the money than its closest competitors from Canon or Nikon. It’s a pleasure to hold and to use; the pictures generally look superb; and the uncompromised Live View feature and tilting screen grant you shots you simply can’t get with other S.L.R.’s.

So I played with it in the shop for awhile. And the dual sensor implementation of Live View, along with the tilting LCD, is a joy. It works flawlessly. So I went for it, figuring out that the minor differences in quality between this, Nikon and Canon would likely not matter for the ways in which I would use it.

So I've now had just a couple of days to play around with it and I'm still just learning how to use it. It is of course relatively easy right out of the box in pure automatic mode but the menus and buttons are relatively simple to figure out. But of course I still need to take a bit more time with the manual. Overall, I am extremely pleased with the results.

These shots were taken from my village on Sunday. As it was the day after the typhoon, it was still quite hazy up here, which you'll see in the photos, but overall I think they're quite okay.


This is my neighbor's garden. Mine will never look anything like this.


Stairway from heaven? From my village down to the main road.

Sai Kung town.


The Sai Kung harbor
Fishing pier.


The rest of these shots were taken tonight. Despite Pogue's comments about low light performance, considering I was shooting handheld and without flash, I'm quite happy with the results.




Last but not least, for the hell of it, the first shot below was taken at 14 megapixel resolution while the second one, taken just a second later, was done at 7.7 megapixel.

My Saturday is best expressed in Tom Verlaine's lyrics for the song Marquee Moon:

I remember
how the darkness doubled
I recall
lightning struck itself.
I was listening
listening to the rain
I was hearing
hearing something else.

==========================================

My lunch on Monday was spent reading the SCMP.

An article on how the government is ignoring community protests over Hopewell's longstanding plans to put up a 93 story tower on narrow, winding, almost entirely residential Kennedy Road.

An article on a plan to put a 39 story tower on top of the Wanchai market.

An article on how the opening of 1 Island East will bring much more traffic and pollution to an area that is nothing but single lane streets (with very few traffic lights or zebra crossings), which of course are ignored by HK drivers anyway) (note to residents: if you want to protest, try doing it before the building is built rather than after) and how Swire now plans to redevelop three other office buildings in Taikoo Place, transforming them into two skyscrapers. (And how does Swire decide to put up a 70 story office tower in a primarily residential area - and not include a carpark?)

An article on light pollution in Hong Kong and how the government doesn't give a rat's ass if someone illegally puts a neon sign on the side of a building right next to your window.

Actually, since the government is mostly appointed and not elected, they don't give a rat's ass what you (or I) think. And the billionaires who are protected by the government are praying it stays that way.

===============================================

Well a Cadillac
it pulled out of the graveyard.
Pulled up to me
all they said get in.
Then the Cadillac
it puttered back into the graveyard.
And me,
I got out again.

Anger continues to mount over the new restrictions for visas to China. Despite someone official saying over a week ago that it was just a computer glitch, the "glitch" does not seem to have been repaired. So vastly increased visa fees, no more multiple entries, requirements to show a return plane ticket and a hotel voucher in advance, original invitation letters, no more 24 hours visas at the Shenzhen border (something Americans have been unable to do for the past couple of years) - and nationals of 33 countries must apply for the visa from their home country, not Hong Kong, even if they are Hong Kong residents.

And check out this info just received from my travel agent:


300% increase?

Meanwhile back home the wonderfully named Federation of Restaurants and Associated Trades reports that the combination of idiotic rent increases and severe increases in the price of food may force 200-300 restaurants out of business within the next 3 months. The Craptard reports that many restaurants in Causeway Bay, Mong Kok and TST are reporting that landlords are seeking to DOUBLE their rent when their leases are up.

And since when do we get typhoons in April? I can't remember any.

Just found out that Keren Ann is doing a concert in HK as part of Le French May - but possibly sold out already. I'm vaguely tempted to get Elton John tix - actually I've never seen him perform live - but I might be in Shanghai that week. I am not tempted at all to pony up for James Blunt. Kenny G? Reminds me of the time that I went scuba diving in rough waters off Phuket and people were puking in their masks.

Spotted in a shop window in Central a week or so ago:



Sake selection at Nanbantei Restaurant in Shibuya:



Some shots from Meidori Restaurant in Ginza:





These shots from Thursday night, you can see the difference:

Yeah, okay, I ate whale. For the second time. The first time was a couple of years back and it was raw. This time two small pieces, cooked. Both times, "Ha! You try it first, then we tell you what it is!" When I had raw whale, it tasted kind of like beef liver. "Why don't you just order liver instead?" I asked. Cooked whale tasted kind of like beef. I was not going to be rude to my hosts but they took my silence as enjoyment and said, "We guess you are not a member of Greenpeace." I do have some food photos but forgot to pack my card reader so perhaps after I get home.

This was my second sushi dinner and far superior to the first. The first one was at a chain in Ginza called Midori or Meidori or something along those lines (no English sign). The set course there was roughly US$50 per person, a bargain by Ginza standards. It was my second time there and, like the first time, people were lined up outside waiting up to an hour for a table. As chains go, this is considered to be a superior one and most of what we had was pretty good. But even my barbarian palate noted that tonight's dinner, in a tiny little independent restaurant tucked away on a back street, was far superior. I didn't see the bill but I'm sure that this dinner was well over $100 per person. But, like I said, even I could taste the difference. Even the sake (didn't get the name but I was told it was from a brewery that had a small output each year and only sold to select independent restaurants) had a deeper, more complex flavor than most of the ones I've had in the past.

Last night's dinner was at a restaurant on the 29th floor of the Sanne Park Tower. I took a taxi there from my hotel - turned out the place was only 3 blocks away. Oops. Again, my second time at this place, both times with a friend who just happened to, oh, win an Emmy award for inventing the DVD. We talked about his new business venture but, fueled by massive amounts of sake and soju, our discussions soon took on a more philosophical tone. Some hot stone cooking (marinated tuna cheek slices), some tofu skin, white asparagus, a mix of shellfish - all at surprisingly reasonable prices (for Tokyo) and an English menu that went through full descriptions on the drinks as well as the food. Tables widely spaced and a superb 29th floor view, cannot complain.

Each night (including tonight) I had so much to drink with dinner that all I could do was go back to the hotel afterwards, stuffed and wasted. I have not been to any bars at all this trip and, as I'm heading home tomorrow, won't get to any.

Today I did have a chance to take a break and get over to Bic Camera, where I played with the new Sony A350 DSLR. The new LiveView works really well but the camera is huge and heavy. I wanted to compare it to the new Canon Rebel Xsi (aka 45D?) but they didn't have it yet. I did see lots of other toys - including a 103 inch LCD TV that sells for US$50,000. I got one for my bathroom. Not.

The other thing I forgot to pack was the DVD drive for my laptop, so I can't listen to any of the CDs I bought. The one I will play first when I get back home is The Last Shadow Puppets - The Age of the Understatement. It's a side project from one of the members of Arctic Monkeys and said to be very influenced by Scott Walker's 60s solo albums.

Finally, for tonight, two taxi tales .....

I'm pretty good at getting around Tokyo in taxis. Most drivers don't speak English but either I know the Japanese name of where I'm going or I have a bilingual map in my pocket that I can point to. The other day, going from the hotel to the office, the driver made a wrong turn. A seriously wrong turn. He realized it after awhile and shut off the meter for the rest of the trip and apologized profusely. As it happens, the value on the meter when he shut it off was the exact amount it would have cost had he not gotten lost. I cannot imagine any Hong Kong taxi driver ever doing this.

Second was today. It's a stereotype that women cannot read maps. Of course stereotype sare generally untrue but, well, today I had a lady taxi driver who seemed bent on living up to it. I gave her the address I was going to. She punched it into her GPS. I looked at the display and the route it showed was exactly right. She pulled out of the hotel and proceeded to ignore the GPS completely. She started making a left turn at a place she should have gone straight. I managed to stop her in time. Then she got to a place where she should have made a left and kept going straight. I got her to turn around. She pointed at the GPS and said, "Navigation!" I said, "Yes, please use it!!!!!!"

Anyway, back home Friday. Leaving again on the 28th (Manila). And in just 15 days it will be my birthday. This year my age and the year I was born are the same number. Not sure how I feel about that but considering the alternative ....

My experiences in the corporate world have taught me that rewards go to those who play the political game well. Success or failure or competence does not play into the equation.

So I wasn't terribly shocked to read this news about Disney in Asia. As you probably know, Hong Kong Disneyland has been a disaster in every possible way since it opened. In purely financial terms they missed their first year targets and then in the second year attendance dropped by a further 23%. The one thing Hong Kong Disneyland has done has been to make Ocean Park look good.

So what to do with HK Disneyland head Bill Ernest? Promote him to President and Managing Director of Walt Disney Asia of course!

Also noted in entertainment news this week - If a movie has a $70 million opening weekend in the US, that's record-setting, and so far this year only one film has topped the "magic" US$100 million gross mark. If a CD sells 250,000 copies in a week (gross revenue approximate US$4 million), that's generally enough to put it in the US #1 spot.

The video game Grand Theft Auto IV was released last week. First week sales gross? Try US$400 million.

(Note that the average movie ticket in the US is $7, the average CD is around $15, and GTA4 sells for $60. Even so, $400 million is not to be sneezed at.)

From last night's episode of Two and A Half Men:

Alan: Um, listen, how much is a hooker?

Charlie: What? What are you gonna do with a hooker?

A: Well, I'd like to pay her to have sex with me.

C: I get it, but why?

A: I've been thinking. I don't have a great track record with relationships but I still have desires so I was thinking why not simplify, get back to basics, no relationship, no disappointment, just sex.

C: Well, sex with you, there's bound to be some disappointment. I mean even with a hooker, money only buys you so much good will.

A: But I don't have to care. Because it's a straight business transaction, the only needs that are important are mine.

C: Hey, you don't have to sell me on it. I just never pictured you doing anything like this.

A: Me neither. But you know what's interesting? Once I decided to give up trying to live a moral life, I felt somehow free.

C: Again, you don't have to sell me. How much you looking to spend?

A: Ah, well, as you know, I am a bit of a bargain hunter.

C: Yeah but unfortunately they don't stock hookers at the 99 cent store. Gimme a number.

A: Okay, well, um, what I could I get in the $200 range?

C: Crabs. And car-jacked.

A: All right then, why don't you give me a number?

C: $1500.

A: For one night?

C: For one hour.

A: One hour? I want sex, not surround sound.

C: Trust me, it's worth it. For that kind of money you get the Girl Friend Experience.

A: Haven't you been listening? I don't want the Girl Friend Experience. All I want is sex. Guiltless, emotionless, selfish sex.

C: I understand.

A: At a reasonable price.

C: Look Alan, I'll make a few calls, see what I can do.

A: That would be good. And try to get one who doesn't smoke.

C: Sure. Who wants a girl who would put one of those nasty things in her mouth?

Despite the exchange rate, with little else to do tonight I did my usual first night in Tokyo thing, going over to Tower and HMV in Shibuya, followed by yakitori dinner at Nanbantei. It's been at least six months since I was here yet they still remembered me at the restaurant. (And managed to screw up my order slightly.)

The major purchase of the night .... the Japanese DVD release of Grindhouse - a 6 disc set, which includes the extended cuts of Death Proof and Planet Terror and a disc of bonus features for each. But the box also includes a disc of the theatrical cut of Grindhouse - making this the only place that this cut has been released to date - plus a disc of bonus features for that.

The exchange rate is just too damned high to go crazy buying CDs here. But one thing was too weird to resist - "Miles From India." A 2 disc set produced by Bob Belden that pairs off almost 20 veterans of Miles Davis's bands (including Chick Corea, Ron Carter, John McLaughlin, Marcus Miller, Lenny White) with more than 15 Indian musicians, doing radically re-arranged takes on Miles classics from So What to Miles Runs The Voodoo Down.

Memories - I note that the Metropolitan Opera in NYC is currently staging Philip Glass's opera "Satyagraha" and the NY Times gives this revival a total rave review.

... when Mr. Glass appeared onstage after the Met’s first performance of “Satyagraha,” on Friday night, the audience erupted in a deafening ovation. ... “Satyagraha” invites you to turn off the part of your brain that looks for linear narrative and literal meaning in a musical drama and enter a contemplative state ... in the wild conclusion to the final choral scene in Act I, the music became a gloriously frenzied din of spiraling woodwind and organ riffs. ... “Satyagraha” emerges here as a work of nobility, seriousness, even purity.

I went to see that with my first wife when it first premiered in NYC more than 20 years ago. The music! And the amazing staging - the set design, lighting and movement! I remember sitting there midway through thinking to myself that it was unquestionably the most transcendent experience I'd ever had in a theater (well, without drugs, anyway). I turned to look at my wife to see if she was having the same reaction. She noticed me looking at her. She turned to me. She leaned over and whispered in my ear, "I'll get you for this."

Lots on my mind, nothing to say. Off to Tokyo for a few days.

The Hong Kong Television and Entertainment Licensing Authority (TELA) has stated that when magazines published the Edison Chen photos back in February, even with the naughty bits blacked out, constituted indecency. TELA, Buddha alone knows why, is seeking to overturn a previous ruling by the Obscene Articles Tribunal that this stuff was neither obscene nor indecent.

The SCMP reports that:

Senior government prosecutor Vinci Lam Wing-sai, for Tela, said despite the censoring of areas of the photographs of each individual in the published photographs, the descriptions and sexually expressive texts clearly projected sexual fantasy to readers.

Ms Lam also argued it was "unnecessary and excessive" for Oriental Sunday to carry such a large number of censored photos of stars engaged in sex acts in an article that was ostensibly about their tangled relationships. She submitted to the court that Next Magazine had used "pornographic, sexually arousing texts and chronologically successive pictures" to evoke sexual fantasy and voyeurism.

The texts also presented the concept of having multiple sex partners, a concept which was repulsive to reasonable readers.

I personally find Ms. Lam repulsive without ever even seeing a photo of her.

=================================================

The BBC reports that in Venezuela the Simpsons has been dropped from morning TV because it is unsuitable for children. The replacement show? Baywatch Hawaii. A show that is certain to evoke sexual fantasy and voyeurism.

================================================

Other tidbits:

Record companies get ever more insane. Universal Music Group now claims that if they send you a CD marked "promo only" and you throw it away, that's piracy.

The world's first farting phone. How did civilization make it this far without one?

Nerve.com and the IFC have decided upon the 50 Greatest Comedy Sketches of All Time. (The post includes Youtube links for most of these.) Yes, of course, Monty Python's Dead Parrot is number 1.

Rest of the top ten:

2 - Abbott & Costello - Who's on First
3 - Monty Python - Argument Clinic
4 - SNL - Samurai Hotel
5 - SNL - Coneheads at Home
6 - Monty Python - The Idiot in Rural Society
7 - Ernie Kovacs - The Nairobi Trio
8 - SNL - Consumer Probe
9 - SNL - Not for Ladies Only
10 - Vinci Lam Wing-Tsai - Projecting Sexual Fantasy

oops, no, sorry, that would be

10 - SNL - Synchronized Swimming

Most of the sources you might expect to see are here - but no Little Britain.

In answer to a previous comment, Hemlock was not outed by the SCMP, apparently he punked the SCMP. They sent him an email asking questions, he responded with what he says are phony answers, a phony picture, a phony name. Some may find it amusing.

The SCMP reported yesterday that hackers are attacking China! Oh my. You mean that the country that attacks all of its own internet users by blocking the free flow of uncensored information is itself being digitally attacked?

There was also a report that China has "unleashed" its censors - by telling internal media that they are free to attack those who are protesting the torch relay. No need to wait for the government to tell you what to say, just go ahead and say what you want - as long as it includes sentences like "running dog bourgeois lackeys attack the motherland."

China is also denying that they have stopped issuing multi-entry visas. A glitch because they've installed a new computer system, they say. All back to normal in a few days. "Normal" including that people who live in Hong Kong, which is a part of China, need to pay to go to China.

Joke of the day week year century is today's column by Mary Ma in The Craptard. She starts by saying:

It should be a day of celebration for us in Hong Kong as we look forward to giving the Olympic torch a warm welcome.

However, the threat by the Hong Kong Alliance in Support of Patriotic Democratic Movements of China led by pan-democratic heavyweight Szeto Wah to launch a wave of protests during the Olympic torch relay, is the last humiliation society needs.

The group is selfishly promoting its cause at the expense of an event treasured by everyone.

Everyone? And, oh, yes, then she actually writes the following:

has anyone in the alliance stopped to consider other peoples right to being treated with dignity?

It is ironic that our place is so free that one often tramples on the rights of others in pursuit of ones own.

Which people are those Mary? Which rights? The ones in Tibet shot by soldiers? What about Hu Jia, jailed for three and a half years for writing two articles on web sites?

Did you know that the Chinese Constitution includes the following: "Citizens of the People's Republic of China enjoy freedom of speech, of the press, of assembly, of association, of procession and of demonstration." Apparently the Chinese government doesn't know it either.

Mary Ma, fucktard forever.

On a lighter note, I have always subscribed to the W.C. Fields quote, "I never drink water. Fish fuck in it." Now it would appear that this whole thing about drinking 8 glasses of water a day is a 200+ year old myth with no medical basis. You actually get most of the water you need from that contained in the foods you eat. The rest you can get from beer, whiskey, wine ....

Gizmodo reports on a UK survey that states that 95% of all people in the UK ages 18-24 have pirated music. When it reaches this level of penetration, does anyone think that record companies have even the slightest chance in hell of stopping it?

==========================

I loved the news reports on the protests in Paris that led to the "extinction" of the Olympic torch. As has been noted elsewhere, can anyone recall in recent times any protests for prior events of this nature? Seems like the Olympic committee is getting exactly what it deserves for "awarding" the summer Olympics to China - as repressive a country as can be found anywhere in the world in the 21st century, if things like shooting your own population for demanding some say in how they're governed, employing tens of thousands to censor the free flow of information or imprisoning anyone who dares to voice an opinion out of step with the government counts towards this or not. Maybe they need to re-examine the criteria for future locations so that it's not just "we can build a stadium" to stuff like "a country where people enjoy basic human rights"?

And rather than toe the line and act responsibly, China has been turning the madness up to 11 lately. This whole visa thing is one minor example. Expect more major ones soon.

China wanted the Olympics so that it could have a spotlight shone on the country to show how it has advanced. Advancement is more than the ability to bolt some steel together or pour some concrete. Be careful of what you wish for.

===========================

The myth of Republican fiscal responsibility.

Bush drags the country into a seemingly never ending war in Iraq on false pretenses.

Bush pays for the war by raising the US national debt to record levels, pushing the US towards recession.

US debt instruments are purchased primarily by China. Cheap imports from China fuel growth in the US, at least in some Wal-Martian sectors.

Instability in the Middle East pushes oil prices to record high levels.

High fuel costs increase costs for everything else across the board. Pushing the entire world towards inflation and recession. Including China.

Things are going to get a lot worse before they get better.

Except if someone like McCain gets elected, someone who thinks that a lot of what Bush has done is a good idea. Then things are just going to get worse, they won't get better.

I'm still astonished over the photo in this post at the 10thingsihateabouthongkongblog. I won't publish it here because I don't want to be seen as trying to lure traffic away from there. But simply put, if you read this blog, please click through and take a look at this - and be sure to click on the photo itself to see the larger version and the astonishing English contained therein - I thought "Destvoy HIV" was bad enough until I got to the one on the far right.

===============================================

One of the prized rarities in my VHS collection is a bootleg video of a televised James Brown concert from April, 1968. Not only does it capture JB during his peak years, second only to his appearance in the now serious rare T.A.M.I. Show (which has basically been copied by everyone from Springsteen to Prince), but it has a great story as well. The concert came just days after Martin Luther King Jr was assassinated, riots were taking place in most major American cities and Brown's concert is credited with preventing a similar situation in Boston.

Anyway, there's now a documentary on this - The Night James Brown Saved Boston - and the doc will be released on DVD shortly. (I wonder if the entire concert would be included on the DVD as a bonus?) The story is more amazing than I realized. Here are excerpts from Variety's review of the documentary:

When news that the show would be aired on WGBH -- which knew nothing about popular music or how to broadcast it and even referred to the star attraction as "negro singer Jimmy Brown and his group," -- ticket holders started lining up for refunds. Word reached Brown, and he was furious, as was his manager Charles Bobbit; negotiations led to the city agreeing to pony up $60,000 for the show. The two sides disagree on whether that money was ever paid.

Brown had been in a New York recording studio when riots broke out, and he had appeared on television asking for peace. He went to Harlem on his own to witness the looting, destruction and police brutality. In the concert footage, we see his negotiating skills at work assuaging concertgoers and the police that no one wants any trouble.

"James Brown," like Leaf's works on Brian Wilson and John Lennon, was created with the cooperation of the subject and/or estate, which has provided him with some boffo footage. The concert, natch, is a high point, but there's also Brown visiting impoverished youth and Vietnam. Brown's band members, especially Jab'o Starks and Fred Wesley, reflect on the night from the one perspective that required fearlessness -- being James Brown -- and their stories, along with Bobbit's recollections, flesh out another under-reported chapter from the life of an American original.

When it comes to reality TV, I go for the cooking game shows. The flaming train wreck that is Hell's Kitchen and the Padma Lakshmi fashion show known as Top Chef.

Naturally, now that both shows are into their new seasons in the US, there's a bit of press here and there. And two good articles I came across over at Salon.

The first, by someone named Heather Havrilesky (such a goyisch first name paired with that Eastern European mouthful of a last name) has this to say about Hell's Kitchen:

When did such a depressing spectacle start to pass as entertainment? Dimwitted, insecure cooks, a chaotic kitchen, wasted food, and a raging hothead throwing chicken at the wall and screaming in the poor, mixed-up chefs' ears as they try desperately to learn how to cook scallops under pressure. It's like watching amoebas trying to type or saber-tooth cats trying to dance a polka or Tyra Banks trying to outswim a dolphin with a tuna casserole strapped to her back. (OK, that last one would be more entertaining than depressing.)

I'm left completely open mouthed by the first shows of season 4 of HK. The prize is a US$250,000 per year job as executive chef at Ramsay's newest outpost in Los Angeles. And who are the contestants? One was a stay at home dad who did the cooking for the family for the past ten years. And between his under bite and toupee, he was just annoying - and the first to go. (Last year one of the contestants was a woman who worked in a waffle house.)

I also get the feeling that these people have never watched the damn show before being on it. They expect Ramsey to be nice to them? He's playing a cartoon version of Gordon Ramsey, the Ramsey seen on "Ramsey's Boiling Point" (airing this month on Asian Food Channel, I think) turned up to 11.

And so far this year's Top Chef also seems lackluster. Is the thrill gone? Heather writes:

... the cheftestants this season don't seem half as competent as those from the past two seasons, at least not so far. In their scramble to find a Marcel (Season 2's pretentious kitchen chemist) and a CJ (Season 3's wisecracker) and a Hung (Season 3's cocky winner) they've landed a room full of sulking babies. Hostess Padma Lakshmi can trot out some impressive cleavage, judge Tom Colicchio can glare and roll his eyes with increasing frequency, judge Gail Williams can smack her lips with unnerving zest, but that can't distract us from the fact that these cheftestants were chosen, in large part, because two of them (Zoi and Jennifer) are dating, and another (Andrew) thinks it's a really good idea, when presenting his dish to the judges and assembled guests at a dinner, to get on his knees and imitate an Oompa Loompa.

So it's not just me who's noticed.

Also in Salon, this article by Alex Koppelman on the transformation of Gordon Ramsey from chef to cartoon character. About Hell's Kitchen, he writes:

It's a show that seems deliberately designed to waste Ramsay's considerable talents both as a chef and as a television personality by having him send inexperienced, talentless cooks through a particularly dull meat grinder. Ramsay and Fox give these poor saps simple kitchen tasks that are obviously way above their skill level, presumably in the hope they'll fail. And then, joy of joys, Ramsay gets to turn insincerely red-faced and yell.

There is no sugarcoating him: Ramsay was always, long before Fox twisted his personality beyond all recognition, an asshole. But his screaming used to serve a purpose. It used to be a small part of what he did in the kitchen -- at least, the parts we saw on television -- and it was done for a reason. For motivation, for teaching, for a good old-fashioned kick in the ass when one of his cooks needed it. On British television, that's mostly still how Ramsay operates. Ramsay is, when he wants to be, a wonderful teacher, someone who is capable of making even the most complicated of techniques instantly comprehensible, even to an inexperienced home cook.

The premiere of the latest season of "Hell's Kitchen" is unwatchable from early on, when a disembodied voice that would make Vincent Price turn over in his grave announces, "Only three have ever survived the trials of 'Hell's Kitchen.' Now, we are reawakening the beast. And the dark lord reigns again." And to think -- Ramsay acts as if it's his contestants' food that's gag-inducing.

I suppose he's doing this because Fox is throwing bucketloads of money at him (and it probably means that all the mid-western Americans raised on corn dogs are booking tables at that L.A. restaurant right now).

===============================================

One bit of reality is that if you go to a bar with a live band in Hong Kong or many other parts of Asia, that band will be from the Philippines. It seems like everyone there can play an instrument or sing on key. Hong Kong is filled with them - almost every bar in Wanchai, Lan Kwai Fong or TST that offers live music has a Filipino band. And with just a few exceptions, they're completely interchangeable, completely devoid of personality or originality. (Of course you know I consider the band Icebox at Amazonia to be one of the exceptions.)

Most of these bands are fronted by one or two female singers. If it's two singers, then they are choreographed to some extent and do cutesy bits of nonsense in between the songs. These women can imitate everyone from Tina Turner to Gwen Stefani at the drop of a hat. And it's often occurred to me, Buddha knows why, how they would do on American Idol.

This year we got to find out, as one of the top 12 was a 20 year old Filipina girl from Florida named Ramiele Maluramalamadingdong or something like that. Five feet tall, cute as a button in her non-sexy high waisted shorts, and in the early episodes just belted out song after song. But as the weeks went by, the pressure got to her and she slowly self destructed and, on the verge of becoming this season's Sanjaya, finally got the boot last week.

Because she made it into the top ten, that means she'll be a member of the annual summer American Idols tour. And while past years have shown that one doesn't need to win the show in order to jumpstart a successful career (Daughtry, anyone?), what can this very good karaoke singer look forward to besides a career in dinner theater or cruise ship entertainment? I think within 5 years she'll be appearing at Dusk Till Dawn, Spicy Fingers, Neptune, Fenwick, Bulldogs, Insomnia, Sticky Fingers .......

Most recent BC Mag column here. I mention this up front because it's a column about my move to Sai Kung. And while I do my best to be happy and upbeat in the column, the truth was actually quite different.

I think that deep down inside I kind of freaked out about the condition of the house - about how much work it's going to take to get it into shape, to get all my stuff unpacked and squared away. Deep down I wondered if I hadn't made a very bad mistake. Not to mention going through all those sessions trying to quit smoking and getting sick just days after the move.

And so, without realizing it, I kind of went off the rails. Kind of pitiful to say that these days, my definition of "going off the rails" isn't quite what it used to be. But I suppose for those around me, it was bad enough.

As things slowly progressed, as things started to take shape and come together, I've gradually been coming back to myself. My gf said to me today on the phone. "You're starting to sound normal again." All things considered, it's quite amazing that she's even still talking to me.

Doing something different yesterday - walking around Mong Kok (and spending silly amounts of money) didn't hurt. And today was restful and vaguely peaceful. The sun was out today (as of course you know if you're reading this from HK). Drove around a bit with the top down on the car. Hit some of my favorite shops in Sai Kung - the line at Ali Oli was unbelievable!!!!! So over to Mushroom Bakery to stock up on breads made with care, apple crumble, shepherds pie. Tried one of the two Indian places in town, the that's not JoJo - turns out they deliver. So that makes four places I know of now that will deliver food here and the first of the four that I might actually use (the others being McD, Pizza Hut and Pepperonis). And sitting out on the balcony tonight, I look up and can see stars. That's how clear it is tonight. Take it as a metaphor for how clear my head is again, if you wish.

Life goes on ....

Yesterday afternoon went to Mong Kok for the first time in years. Actually it was my first time ever driving there, and I inadvertently lucked out by arriving around 1 PM. By 5 PM when I left, traffic was fierce and every car park was full.

A decade ago the place was filled with independent high end audio shops. There are still a few, but most of them are gone. The building on Fa Yuen Street that used to be filled with shops is now half empty. There were others tucked away on first floors and in basements but you had to really look for them. On the other hand, along Sai Yeung Choi South Street, Fortress and Broadway have shops on every block. Several other chains were well represented. Most of these place are selling low and middle end stuff, the big business apparently in mobile phones and large TVs (judging from how much floor and display space these got in each shop).

The other thing I noticed was how jammed every sneaker shop was along "Sneaker Street." What does this tell you? That people like shopping there. So why does the government plan to tear it down? Overpaid undereducated civil servants with nothing better to do than justify their phony baloney jobs by coming up with "ideas" that unfortunately they have the power to carry out. On the other hand, I was impressed by how hard the underpaid shop clerks were working to keep up with the crowds and still be pleasant and helpful.

A few random photos of things that caught my eye:

Hey, did you know that when the Hyatt closed in TST, it moved to Mong Kok?




Along Sai Yeung Choi South Street, Lipton was giving out free samples of their iced tea drink. There were people set up in several places and look at how folks lined up for a free drink! Actually, the remarkable thing is not that so many people lined up for something free, it's that everyone lined up in the first place - neat and orderly and no queue jumping.




Nice to know I will have a wonderful experience if I live another 40 years. And I love that the logo for the shop is a bar code.


Collectivizing????? No wonder the monkey looks confused.

Hip hop baby news:


(from loldogs)


Fergie getting the respect she deserves, check it out:


(from lolcats)

So wrong it can only be right - bacon goes with everything, right?

(from Serious Eats)

HSBC has this type of account called PowerVantage. It is a single overall account that combines a savings account and a current (what in the US would be called checking) account. I would suspect that this is a very popular product in HK. And here's how they use it to rob you.

Let's say you have $100,000 in your savings portion of your PowerVantage account. It's ostensibly an interest-bearing account, though the current rate of interest on savings is about 0.0000001%. Now let's say that you keep $0 in your current account, since it doesn't pay interest. But you still have a total of $100,000 in your PowerVantage account.

So you write someone a check. But you forget to transfer from savings to current. The check clears the bank. HSBC clears the check, even though there is no money in current, because there is $100k in PowerVantage.

Then they charge you interest on a "loan" on the "overdraft." Seriously. What overdraft?

Now I don't know about you, but I don't check my bank balance every day. But I know that as of March 27 my "current" account was at 0, where it should be. And on March 28 they charged me $9.31 "debit interest" on the overdraft. Then they mailed a letter to my house (paper, envelope, printer ink, postage, some manpower involved at some stage?) to tell me that I am again overdrawn on the account.

So now I've "paid" the $9.31. And I'm just betting that next month they will charge me interest again on the "overdraft" of $9.31.

Yes, HK$9 isn't a lot of money. But how many thousands of people do they tag in just this fashion every month?

Legal robbery of the poor by the rich.

Sorry, have not been in much of a blogging mood lately. And this post is of interest to no one except myself.

I've been working for the same company for 6-1/2 years. Based on my accomplishments, I should have been made a VP about 3 years ago. It didn't happen. That's because I have this proclivity to say what's on my mind, politics be damned. I've gone up against my boss's boss's boss more than once and "won" - in other words, I was right and proven to be right but being right doesn't get you promoted under these circumstances.

I console myself by saying that I'm paid a fair amount for what I do and if I don't get the promotion, at least I can sleep at night for speaking my mind. (Of course, since I have obstructive sleep apnea and don't use my CPAP machine, I don't EVER sleep well but that's another story.) So every time my promotion was put in front of the CIO, he'd say, "oh, this guy? nope, don't see it."

Back in December, there was a global re-org of my department. When my boss's boss published the new org chart, he got my title wrong, representing an infinitesimal boost. I asked him, via email, jokingly, if I had been promoted. He responded, "no, but perhaps I can get this for you - it would be a title change but no change in pay or perks." Feebly, I responded that it would be nice to get some recognition after all these years.

At around the same time, I was attempting to get promotions for 4 members of my staff. These four people have been with me for 4-5 years, work damned hard, deliver constantly and deserve some recognition and advancement. So I put forth the cases for each of them and all four promotions were denied. "Oh yes, we see they all deserve it but we don't know how this fits into the new organization after the re-org."

Now it's March. My boss's boss, referenced two paragraphs above, was fired at the end of December. (Don't get me started on the person chosen to replace him, let's just say there's more than a little truth in the saying "the devil you know.") And my phony promotion just came through. No change in pay. No change in perks. No change in responsibility. Essentially all I get out of the deal was new business cards. See, they didn't want to give me what they know I deserve, so to hopefully mollify me, they made up a new title.

So first, rather than celebrate, I had to go to the four people I'd tried to get promoted. I could just see them sitting there thinking, "oh great, he can't get ME a promotion but he gets one for himself." I went to each of them and said, "hey, you know that promotion I got, it's meaningless, just a change in title, nothing else." (Some might say it was a humiliating experience for me. Times four.)

Yesterday the announcement went out to the world. The congratulatory emails started coming in. I responded to each of them with a simple "thanks." Only one person was smart enough to figure it out, to write to me and say, "maybe in 50 years you'll finally get the VP spot you deserve."

Hey, life is not always fair. I know this. Life's tough. Take a look around. Everywhere you look, you'll see people not getting what they deserve. I've done my job. I did what was asked of me and a whole lot more. Yes I expected a reward. No I didn't get one. SFW. I'm mostly living a great fucking life. I'm in Hong Kong. I'm living in a house with an open sea view. Driving a convertible. Traveling around Asia. Making literally ten times more per year than I was making 20 years ago. I have no right to complain.

But still, it burns.